Recommended Resources

The following resources have significantly influenced Clare Mézes' approach to therapy. You are encouraged to pursue these for support in navigating your relationships and life day to day.

Teachers & Mentors

Clare has had the privilege of working with the following teachers and mentors throughout her career. They have instilled in her a passion for working with individuals and couples:

Terry Real (Healthy Relationships), Pia Melody (Addictions), Esther Perel (Relationships and Sexuality), Richard Schwartz (Internal Family Systems), Janina Fisher (Relationships and Trauma), Gabor Maté (Trauma and Addiction), Sue Johnston (Attachment and Relationships), Thomas Hübl (Intergenerational and Cultural Trauma), Julian Shores (Neurobiology, Trauma and Relationships), Isabel Wilkerson (Racial Tensions), Emily Nagoski (Sexual Wellbeing and Healthy Relationships), Barry McCarthy (Healthy Sexual Relationships), David Schnarch (Passionate Sexual Relationships), and Brené Brown (Vulnerability, Shame and Empathy), Tarana Burke and Brené Brown (Vulnerability and Shame Resilience).

You can find links to their work, along with many other valuable resources, below.

Featured Book:

Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
By Terrance Real

In his transformative new book Us, Terry Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results: repetitive fights that go nowhere, or a distant relationship in which partners end up living “alone together.”

With deft insight, humor, and charm, Real guides you to transform your relationship into one that’s based on compassion, collaboration, and closeness.

Buy Online

 Professional Organizations

  • CRPO

    The College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario (CRPO) regulates its registrants in the interests of protecting the public. 

    Visit Website

  • Canadian Association for Couple & Family Therapy

    Marriage and Family Therapy is a distinct mental health discipline where a systems theory framework is applied to viewing and treating individuals, couples, families, groups and organizations. Problems are viewed in holistic ways, examining relationships and interactions as significant components of health and optimal functioning. Marriage and Family Therapy is one of the five core mental health professions that includes, psychiatry, psychology, social work, psychotherapy and counselling.

    Registered Marriage and Family Therapists (RMFTs) are relationship specialists trained to help individuals, couples, and families resolve a wide variety of issues and problems. RMFTs adhere to the CACFT Code of Ethics.

    Visit Website

  • Ontario Association for Marriage & Family Therapy

    The Ontario Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (OAMFT) is the professional association for the field of marriage and family therapy in Ontario. We are an international independent affiliate of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. We represent the professional interests of more than 500 members within Ontario.

    Visit Website


    The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) is the professional association for the field of marriage and family therapy. We represent the professional interests of more than 50,000 marriage and family therapists throughout the United States, Canada, and abroad. 

    Visit Website

  • Association of Sex Therapy in Ontario

    Mission, Vision & Purpose:

    To advance excellence in the field of sex therapy in Ontario.

    People of all identities are offered leading-edge, respectful, and ethical therapy for their sexual well-being.

    To identify to the public, clinicians who have expertise as a Certified sex therapist

    To set and uphold standards for the granting of Certified status in sex therapy in Ontario.

    To evaluate candidates towards Certification

    To provide bi-annual continuing education for ASTO members and guests.

    Visit Website

  • Relational Life Institute (Terry Real)

    Terry Real is an internationally recognized Family Therapist, Speaker and Author. Terry founded the Relational Life Institute (RLI), offering workshops for couples, individuals and parents around the country along with a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his RLT (Relational Life Therapy) methodology.

    A family therapist and teacher for more than twenty five years, Terry is the best-selling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Scribner, 1997), the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women (Scribner, 2002), and most recently The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work (Random House). Terry knows how to lead couples on a step-by-step journey to greater intimacy — and greater personal fulfillment.

    Visit Website 

 Recommended Websites

  • CBT For Personal Development

    Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a short-term, focused, learning goal-oriented therapy. It has been shown through scientific research to be highly effective for the treatment of many mental health problems. These include depression, anxiety, anger, interpersonal issues, and couples conflicts. There are also specific CBT treatments for trauma (TF-CBT) and medical conditions such as chronic pain and insomnia (I-CBT).

    In CBT the therapist acts as a coach, teaching helpful strategies that the client can practice between sessions. Clients learn how to overcome their difficulties by changing some of their perspectives, behaviour, and emotional responses. Cognitive Therapy is a collaborative approach and is compatible with the use of prescribed medication.

    Visit Website

  • EHN Canada

    Edgewood Health Network Canada offers medically excellent mental health treatment from coast to coast. We cover a wide range of needs, from outpatient therapy to short-term detox stays and multi-month treatment for mental health and substance use disorders. Visit Website

  • Evoke Therapy Programs

    The Evoke mission is to provide the highest level of personalized therapeutic care with a focus on the whole-health of clients and families with extensive family support and resources.

    Evoke accomplishes this mission by following their 3 Founding Principles:

    1 - Provide the best possible treatment for each client’s whole-health with comprehensive family support

    2 - Transform continually as a program and company

    3 - Use our inherent connection to the outdoors to facilitate lasting change

    Visit Website

  • Trauma Therapy | Janina Fisher

    Janina Fisher, PhD is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and Instructor at the Trauma Center, an outpatient clinic and research center founded by Bessel van der Kolk. Known for her expertise as both a therapist and consultant, she is also past president of the New England Society for the Treatment of Trauma and Dissociation, an EMDR International Association Credit Provider, a faculty member of the Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute, and a former Instructor, Harvard Medical School. Dr. Fisher has been an invited speaker at the Cape Cod Institute, Harvard Medical School Conference Series, the EMDR International Association Annual Conference, University of Wisconsin, University of Westminster in London, the Psychotraumatology Institute of Europe, and the Esalen Institute. Dr. Fisher lectures and teaches nationally and internationally on topics related to the integration of research and treatment and how to introduce these newer trauma treatment paradigms in traditional therapeutic approaches.

    Visit Website

  • AEDP Therapy | Diana Fosha

    Diana Fosha, PhD, is the developer of AEDP (Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy), a healing-based, transformation-oriented model of psychotherapeutic treatment and she is Founder and Director of the AEDP Institute. For the last 20 years, Diana has been active in promoting a scientific basis for a healing-oriented, attachment-emotion-transformation focused trauma treatment model. Fosha’s work focuses on integrating positive neuroplasticity, recognition science and developmental dyadic research into experiential and transformational clinical work with patients. Visit Website

  • The Change Triangle | Hilary Jacobs Hendel

    "The Change Triangle" is a map. A guide to carry you from a place of disconnection back to your true Self. It's a step-by-step process for simply feeling better. It works by getting you reacquainted with core emotions like joy, anger, sadness, fear, and excitement. To my own joy and satisfaction, it has helped me and many people I have worked with recover a vital, more engaged, more authentic Self.

    Visit Website

  • Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) | Dr. Sue Johnson

    Most of Dr. Sue Johnson's research focuses on the efficacy of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT), a therapy she developed more than 30 years ago. It’s acknowledged as the gold standard in tested, proven interventions for couples. EFT is all about emotion, the music that dictates how we move with or away from our own vulnerabilities and needs. Dr. Sue and her team have been able to demonstrate its effectiveness through peer-reviewed clinical research that continues today.

    View Website

  • Leading Edge Seminars Inc.

    Leading Edge Seminars Inc. was founded in 1993 by Michael Kerman, MSW, to provide training and mental health seminars to Human Services professionals. Our topics, speakers and presentation styles are on the “leading edge”, thereby giving you an edge in your work with people.

    Visit Website

  • The Meadows | Pia Mellody

    As a pioneer in the field of recovery, Pia Mellody’s theories on the effects of childhood trauma have become the foundation for The Meadows’ programs and are a major reason for their success. Pia is widely known as one of the preeminent authorities in the fields of addiction and relationships. Her work on codependency, boundaries, and the effects of childhood trauma on emotional development has profoundly influenced the treatment of addictions and the issues of forming and maintaining relationships.

    Pia is the author of several influential books, including Facing Codependence, Facing Love Addiction, Breaking Free, and The Intimacy Factor. At The Meadows, she trains our staff, counsels patients and families, speaks at campus workshops, and lectures around the world. Pia also developed the Developmental Model of Immaturity used by The Meadows.

    Visit Website

  • Relationship & Sex Therapy | Esther Perel

    Psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED talks have garnered more than 20 million views and her international bestseller Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence became a global phenomenon translated into 25 languages.

    Visit Website

  • Psychological Counseling Services

    PCS is a team of mental health experts who utilize a multi-disciplinary approach to provide individualized treatment for growth and healing.

    At Psychological Counseling Services (PCS), they strive to provide a safe and challenging environment for individuals, couples, and families to receive the healing and restoration they need.

    Visit Website

  • Internal Family Systems | Richard Schwartz

    Richard Schwartz began his career as a systemic family therapist and an academic. Grounded in systems thinking, Dr. Schwartz developed Internal Family Systems (IFS) in response to clients’ descriptions of various parts within themselves. He focused on the relationships among these parts and noticed that there were systemic patterns to the way they were organized across clients. He also found that when the clients’ parts felt safe and were allowed to relax, the clients would experience spontaneously the qualities of confidence, openness, and compassion that Dr. Schwartz came to call the Self. He found that when in that state of Self, clients would know how to heal their parts.

    Visit Website.


  • Anti-Racist Psychotherapy: Confronting Systemic Racism and Healing Racial Trauma | David Archer

    Anti-Racist Psychotherapy is an approach designed to clarify the mental health effects of racism and provide a neuroscience-informed approach to resolve racial trauma. This book will help you learn a new and unique perspective for conceptualizing racism and recovering from its effects on the nervous system. Using the approaches described in this book will reveal how we can reprocess the pain of our past, inspire hope for the future, and gain a higher level of awareness when discussing the mental health effects of systemic racism.

    Buy Book

  • Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience | Brene Brown, Ph. D, MSW

    In Atlas of the Heart, Brown takes us on a journey through eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human. As she maps the necessary skills and an actionable framework for meaningful connection, she gives us the language and tools to access a universe of new choices and second chances—a universe where we can share and steward the stories of our bravest and most heartbreaking moments with one another in a way that builds connection.

    Over the past two decades, Brown’s extensive research into the experiences that make us who we are has shaped the cultural conversation and helped define what it means to be courageous with our lives. Atlas of the Heart draws on this research, as well as on Brown’s singular skills as a storyteller, to show us how accurately naming an experience doesn’t give the experience more power—it gives us the power of understanding, meaning, and choice.

    Brown shares, “I want this book to be an atlas for all of us, because I believe that, with an adventurous heart and the right maps, we can travel anywhere and never fear losing ourselves.”

    Buy Book

  • The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships | Bonnie Badenoch, MA, LMFT

    How each of us can become a therapeutic presence in the world. Images and sounds of war, natural disasters, and human-made devastation explicitly surround us and implicitly leave their imprint in our muscles, our belly and heart, our nervous systems, and the brains in our skulls.

    We each experience more digital data than we are capable of processing in a day, and this is leading to a loss of empathy and human contact. This loss of leisurely, sustained, face-to-face connection is making true presence a rare experience for many of us, and is neurally ingraining fast pace and split attention as the norm.

    Yet despite all of this, the ability to offer the safe sanctuary of presence is central to effective clinical treatment of trauma and indeed to all of therapeutic practice. It is our challenge to remain present within our culture, Badenoch argues, no matter how difficult this might be. She makes the case that we are built to seek out, enter, and sustain warm relationships, all this connection will allow us to support the emergence of a humane world.

    In this book, Bonnie Badenoch, a gifted translator of neuroscientific concepts into human terms, offers readers brain- and body-based insights into how we can form deep relational encounters with our clients and our selves and how relational neuroscience can teach us about the astonishing ways we are interwoven with one another. How we walk about in our daily lives will touch everyone, often below the level of conscious awareness.

    The first part of The Heart of Trauma provides readers with an extended understanding of the ways in which our physical bodies are implicated in our conscious and non-conscious experience. Badenoch then delves even deeper into the clinical implications of moving through the world. She presents a strong, scientifically grounded case for doing the work of opening to hemispheric balance and relational deepening.

    Buy Book

  • You Are Your Best Thing | Tarana Burke, Brené Brown

    NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Tarana Burke and Dr. Brené Brown bring together a dynamic group of Black writers, organizers, artists, academics, and cultural figures to discuss the topics the two have dedicated their lives to understanding and teaching: vulnerability and shame resilience.

    Contributions by Kiese Laymon, Imani Perry, Laverne Cox, Jason Reynolds, Austin Channing Brown, and more

    Buy Book

  • Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist | Ramani Durvasula, Ph. D

    How do you know if you are in a relationship with a narcissist—and what can you do about it?

    Narcissism is a modern epidemic—and it's spreading rapidly. Narcissists tend to be pretty on the outside, but empty on the inside. While they are often successful, they are also controlling, manipulative, entitled, vain, and they have no empathy. If your significant other can be charismatic and charming one moment and leave you feeling disappointed, unsettled, and doubting yourself the next, you may be involved with a narcissist. This dangerous relationship can slowly ruin your sense of well-being and ultimately your psychological health. Sometimes leaving is the healthiest option. But sometimes it doesn't feel like an option, and you may have powerful reasons for staying—for your children, financial security, religious beliefs, or simply because you are in love.

    In Should I Stay or Should I Go? Dr. Ramani Durvasula gives you the tools to help you stop making the same mistakes. It shows you what to watch for and provides guidance on managing difficult situations. This honest survival manual is based on the real terrain of pathological narcissism and it provides a realistic roadmap of how to navigate this landscape and reclaim your true self, find healing and live an authentic and empowered life. Whether you stay—or go.

    Buy Book

  • Why We Love | Helen Fisher

    In Why We Love, renowned anthropologist Helen Fisher offers a new map of the phenomenon of love―from its origins in the brain to the thrilling havoc it creates in our bodies and behaviour. Working with a team of scientists to scan the brains of people who had just fallen madly in love, Fisher proved what psychologists had until recently only suspected: when you fall in love, specific areas of the brain "light up" with increased blood flow. This sweeping new book uses this data to argue that romantic passion is hardwired into our brains by millions of years of evolution. It is not an emotion; it is a drive as powerful as hunger.

    Buy Book

  • Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors | Janina Fisher

    Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors integrates a neurobiologically informed understanding of trauma, dissociation, and attachment with a practical approach to treatment, all communicated in straightforward language accessible to both client and therapist.

    Readers will be exposed to a model that emphasizes "resolution" - a transformation in the relationship to one's self, replacing shame, self-loathing, and assumptions of guilt with compassionate acceptance. Its unique interventions have been adapted from a number of cutting-edge therapeutic approaches, including Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems, mindfulness-based therapies, and clinical hypnosis. Readers will close the pages of Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors with a solid grasp of therapeutic approaches to traumatic attachment, working with undiagnosed dissociative symptoms and disorders, integrating "right brain-to-right brain" treatment methods, and much more. Most of all, they will come away with tools for helping clients create an internal sense of safety and compassionate connection to even their most dis-owned selves.

    Buy Book

  • Healing Collective Trauma: A Process for Integrating Our Intergenerational and Cultural Wounds | Thomas Hübl

    What can you do when you carry scars not on your body, but within your soul? And what happens when those spiritual wounds exist not just in you, but in everyone in your family, community, and even beyond?

    Spiritual teacher Thomas Hübl has spent years investigating why it is that old and seemingly disconnected traumas can seed their way through communities and across generations. His work culminates in Healing Collective Trauma, a new perspective on trauma that addresses both its visible effects and its most hidden roots. Thomas combines deep knowledge of mystical traditions with the latest scientific research. "In this way," writes Thomas, "we are weaving a double helix between ancient wisdom and contemporary understanding."

    Buy Book

  • Hold Me Tight | Dr. Sue Johnson

    Heralded by the New York Times and Time as the couples therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond.

    This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship - from "Recognizing the Demon Dialogue" to "Revisiting a Rocky Moment" - and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations.

    Buy Book

  • Love Sense | Dr. Sue Johnson

    The bestselling author of Hold Me Tight presents a revolutionary new understanding of why and how we love, based on cutting-edge research.

    Every day, we hear of relationships failing and questions of whether humans are meant to be monogamous. Love Sense presents new scientific evidence that tells us that humans are meant to mate for life. Dr. Johnson explains that romantic love is an attachment bond, just like that between mother and child, and shows us how to develop our "love sense" - our ability to develop long-lasting relationships

    Buy Book

  • Trauma and Memory | Peter Levine

    In Trauma and Memory, bestselling author Dr. Peter Levine (creator of the Somatic Experiencing approach) tackles one of the most difficult and controversial questions of PTSD/trauma therapy: Can we trust our memories? While some argue that traumatic memories are unreliable and not useful, others insist that we absolutely must rely on memory to make sense of past experience. Building on his 45 years of successful treatment of trauma and utilizing case studies from his own practice, Dr. Levine suggests that there are elements of truth in both camps. While acknowledging that memory can be trusted, he argues that the only truly useful memories are those that might initially seem to be the least reliable: memories stored in the body and not necessarily accessible by our conscious mind. 

    Buy Book

  • Hot Monogamy | Patricia Love, Jo Robinson

    Can monogamous partners maintain the passion and excitement they felt in the early days of their relationship? Dr. Patricia Love, an eminent sex and family therapist, and bestselling author Jo Robinson say it is possible, and show how it's done. Culled from extensive case studies, they provide a step-by-step program to help keep the spark lit and send satisfaction soaring. Best of all, couples will be able to tailor a tremendous store of sexual techniques to fit their own personalities, preferences, and lifestyles. This is a remarkable guide proving that mutual desire and sexual heat don't have to fade but instead can grow more powerful with every passing day.

    Buy Book

  • Facing Codependence | Pia Mellody

    Revised and Updated With Over 600,000 Copies Sold

    Pia Mellody creates a framework for identifying codependent thinking, emotions and behaviour and provides an effective approach to recovery. Mellody sets forth five primary adult symptoms of this crippling condition, then traces their origin to emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and sexual abuses that occur in childhood. Central to Mellody's approach is the concept that the codependent adult's injured inner child needs healing. Recovery from codependence, therefore, involves clearing up the toxic emotions left over from these painful childhood experiences.

    Buy Book

  • Facing Love Addiction | Pia Mellody

    In this revised and updated version of Facing Love Addiction, bestselling author of Facing Codependence and internationally recognized dependence and addiction authority Pia Mellody unravels the intricate dynamics of unhealthy love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love. Through twelve-step work, exercises, and journal-keeping, Facing Love Addiction compassionately and realistically outlines the recovery process for Love Addicts, and Mellody’s fresh perspective and clear methods work to comfort and motivate all those looking to establish and maintain healthy, happy relationships.

    Buy Book

  • Intimacy Factor | Pia Mellody

    In her first book in over ten years, internationally recognized expert on dependence and recovery, Pia Mellody, shows us how to break free from harmful relationships and to learn how to attain the intimacy we need and deserve. This invaluable resource helps diagnose the causes of faulty relationships - many of them rooted in childhood - and provides tools for self-healing so that we can move on to establish and maintain healthy relationships. Through Mellody's unique system of boundary practice, developed over her twenty years as a counselor and consultant, you can: Learn effective ground rules to achieve and sustain true intimacy, Attain self-esteem and emotional stability, Understand your strengths and limitations, and Acquire concrete tools for building healthy relationships.

    Buy Book

  • Come As You Are | Emily Nagoski, Ph. D.

    An essential exploration of why and how women’s sexuality works—based on groundbreaking research and brain science—that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.

    Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a “pink pill” for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never be the answer—but as a result of the research that’s gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women’s sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all.

    Buy Book

  • Come Together | Emily Nagoski, Ph. D.

    In Come as You Are, Emily Nagoski, PhD, revolutionized the way we think about women’s sexuality. Now, in Come Together, Nagoski takes on a fundamentally misunderstood subject: sex in long-term relationships.

    Most of us struggle at some point to maintain a sexual connection with our partner/s or spouse. And many of us are given not-very-good advice on what to do about it. In this book, Nagoski dispels the myths we’ve been taught about sex—for instance, the belief that sexual satisfaction and desire are highest at the beginning of a relationship and that they inevitably decline the longer that relationship lasts. Nagoski assures us that’s not true.

    Buy Book

  • Mating in Captivity | Esther Perel

    A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

    One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

    Buy Book

  • State of Affairs | Esther Perel

    Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity.

    An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.

    Buy Book

  • I Don't Want To Talk About It | Terrence Real

    Depression, Terry Real contends, affects the lives of as many men as women-even though women are twice as likely to be treated. As vivid and eloquent as a great novel, I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT interweaves penetrating analysis with poignant, compelling tales of patients-poorly fathered sons of all ages and backgrounds who have grown up to become “rage-aholics” or emotional runaways. Throughout, Real shares moving accounts of his own life, from a painful boyhood, beaten and ignored by a depressed father, through a troubled manhood, disconnected and seeking solace in drugs, to his eventual healing – a journey of self-awareness, grief, and acceptance.

    Buy Online

  • How Can I Get Through to You? | Terrence Real

    Bestselling author and nationally renowned therapist Terrence Real unearths the causes of communication blocks between men and women in this groundbreaking work. Relationships are in trouble; the demand for intimacy today must be met with new skills, and Real - drawing on his pioneering work on male depression - gives both men and women those skills, empowering women and connecting men, radically reversing the attitudes and emotional stumbling blocks of the patriarchal culture in which we were raised.

    Buy Online

  • New Rules of Marriage | Terrence Real

    In his extraordinary new book, Terrence Real, distinguished therapist and bestselling author, presents a long overdue message that women need to hear: You aren’t crazy – you’re right!

    Buy Online

  • Fierce Intimacy | Terrence Real

    What does it take for couples to sustain love? How can you deepen your relationship even when you and your partner disagree, fight, or let each other down? “Intimacy isn’t something you have. It’s something you do,” teaches Terry Real. “It’s a minute-by-minute practice of connecting to others through empathy, vulnerability, and accountability.” With Fierce Intimacy, this renowned author offers a revolutionary way of living in connection—one that allows you to cherish your partner, yourself, and your relationship in equal measure. 

    Buy Online

  • Us: How Moving Relationships Beyond You and Me Creates Love, Passion and Understanding | Terrence Real

    At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools.

    In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results: repetitive fights that go nowhere, or a distant relationship in which partners end up living “alone together.” With deft insight, humor, and charm, Real guides you to transform your relationship into one that’s based on compassion, collaboration, and closeness.

    Us is a groundbreaking guide to a new science-backed skillset—one that will allow you to get past your knee-jerk reactions and tap into your wiser, more collaborative self. 

    Buy Online

  • Passionate Marriage | David Schnarch, Ph. D.

    Passionate Marriage has long been recognized as the pioneering book on intimate human relationships. Now with a new preface by the author, this updated edition explores the ways we can keep passion alive and even reach the height of sexual and emotional fulfillment later in life. Acclaimed psychologist David Schnarch guides couples toward greater intimacy with proven techniques developed in his clinical practice and worldwide workshops. Chapters—covering everything from understanding love relationships to helpful "tools for connections" to keeping the sparks alive years down the road—provide the scaffolding for overcoming sexual and emotional problems. This inspirational book is sure to help couples invigorate their relationships and reach the fullest potential in their love lives.

    David Schnarch, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist, directs the Marriage and Family Health Center in Evergreen, Colorado. He is the author of Constructing the Sexual Crucible and Resurrecting Sex.

    Buy Online

  • Internal Family Systems Therapy | Richard C. Schwartz

    Now significantly revised with over 70% new material, this is the authoritative presentation of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, which is taught and practiced around the world. IFS reveals how the subpersonalities or "parts" of each individual's psyche relate to each other like members of a family, and how - just as in a family - polarization among parts can lead to emotional suffering.

    IFS originator Richard Schwartz and master clinician Martha Sweezy explain core concepts and provide practical guidelines for implementing IFS with clients who are struggling with trauma, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, and other behavioral problems. They also address strategies for treating families and couples. IFS therapy is listed in SAMHSA's National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices.

    Buy Book

  • Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation | Dan Siegel, M.D.

    From a pioneer in the field of mental health comes a groundbreaking book on the healing power of "mindsight," the potent skill that allows you to make positive changes in your brain – and in your life.

    Foreword by Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence.

    • Is there a memory that torments you, or an irrational fear you can't shake?
    • Do you sometimes become unreasonably angry or upset and find it hard to calm down?
    • Do you ever wonder why you can't stop behaving the way you do, no matter how hard you try?
    • Are you and your child (or parent, partner, or boss) locked in a seemingly inevitable pattern of conflict?

    What if you could escape traps like these and live a fuller, richer, happier life? This isn't mere speculation but the result of twenty-five years of careful hands-on clinical work by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. A Harvard-trained physician, Dr. Siegel is one of the revolutionary global innovators in the integration of brain science into the practice of psychotherapy. Using case histories from his practice, he shows how, by following the proper steps, nearly everyone can learn how to focus their attention on the internal world of the mind in a way that will literally change the wiring and architecture of their brain.

    Buy Book

  • The Neurobiology of We | Dan Siegel, M.D.

    If you think your mind and your brain are one and the same, think again. According to interpersonal neurobiology pioneer Daniel J. Siegel, the mind actually emerges out of the interaction between your brain and your relationships.

    Now, on The Neurobiology of "We," Dr. Siegel invites you on a journey to discover this revolutionary new model of human development-one that can positively transform trauma, move you from stress to calm and equanimity, and promote well-being for you, your family, or even your community.

    Buy Book
  • Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive | Dan Siegel, M.D. and Mary Hartzell, M.Ed.

    An updated edition—with a new preface—of the bestselling parenting classic by the author of "BRAINSTORM: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain."

    In Parenting from the Inside Out, child psychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., and early childhood expert Mary Hartzell, M.Ed., explore the extent to which our childhood experiences shape the way we parent. Drawing on stunning new findings in neurobiology and attachment research, they explain how interpersonal relationships directly impact the development of the brain, and offer parents a step-by-step approach to forming a deeper understanding of their own life stories, which will help them raise compassionate and resilient children.

    Born out of a series of parents' workshops that combined Siegel's cutting-edge research on how communication impacts brain development with Hartzell's decades of experience as a child-development specialist and parent educator, this book guides parents through creating the necessary foundations for loving and secure relationships with their children.

    Buy Book

  • The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind | Dan Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph. D.

    In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson offer a revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children.

    The authors explain—and make accessible—the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures. The “upstairs brain,” which makes decisions and balances emotions, is under construction until the mid-twenties. And especially in young children, the right brain and its emotions tend to rule over the logic of the left brain. No wonder kids throw tantrums, fight, or sulk in silence. By applying these discoveries to everyday parenting, you can turn any outburst, argument, or fear into a chance to integrate your child’s brain and foster vital growth.

    Complete with age-appropriate strategies for dealing with day-to-day struggles and illustrations that will help you explain these concepts to your child, The Whole-Brain Child shows you how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development so that your children can lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives.

    Buy Book

  • The Queer and Transgender Resilience Workbook | Anneliese A. Singh

    The Queer and Transgender Resilience Workbook will teach you how to challenge internalized negative messages, handle stress, build a community of support, and embrace your true self.

    In this important workbook, you’ll discover how to cultivate the key components of resilience: holding a positive view of yourself and your abilities; knowing your worth and cultivating a strong sense of self-esteem; effectively utilizing resources; being assertive and creating a support community; fostering hope and growth within yourself, and finding the strength to help others. Once you know how to tap into your personal resilience, you’ll have an unlimited well you can draw from to navigate everyday challenges.

    Buy Book

  • The Racial Healing Handbook | Anneliese A. Singh

    The Racial Healing Handbook offers practical tools to help you navigate daily and past experiences of racism, challenge internalized negative messages and privileges, and handle feelings of stress and shame. You’ll also learn to develop a profound racial consciousness and conscientiousness and heal from grief and trauma. Most importantly, you’ll discover the building blocks to creating a community of healing in a world still filled with racial microaggressions and discrimination.

    Buy Book

  • Love and War in Intimate Relationships | Marion Soloman

    Neuroscience and couples therapy come together to help couples break patterns of bad behavior.

    What happens between partners that makes love turn to war? How can couples therapists help deescalate the battles? Two leading therapists apply the latest neuroscience research on emotional arousal to help couples regulate each other’s emotions, maintain secure attachment, and foster positive, enduring relationships. The neurobiologically-grounded and sensitive approach set forth by Solomon and Tatkin in this book is sure to transform the way clinicians understand and treat couples in therapy.

    Buy Book

  • After the Affair | Janis A. Spring, Ph. D.

    From a clinical psychologist who served as a clinical supervisor in the Department of Psychology at Yale University, received the CPA’s award for Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology, and has treated couples and trained therapists for over four decades, this newly updated, award-winning book provides concrete, proven strategies for those who seek to survive their partner’s infidelity and to rebuild the relationship after an affair.

    Buy Book

  • Wired for Love | Stan Tatkin

    "What the heck is my partner thinking ?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts.

    Buy Book

  • Body Keeps Score | Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.

    Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors.

    In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal—and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.

    Buy Book

  • We read to know we are not alone.
    - C.S. Lewis
  • Whenever you read a good book, somewhere in the world a door opens to allow in more light.
    - Vera Nazarian

Reach Out

If you would like more information about Clare's practice, counselling services, or intensives, please call or email.

Get In Touch